Cardboard Hell
Monday morning. I wake up; the sun shines pleasantly through my window and onto my pillow. The natural melodies of the bluebirds fade into my bedroom as my mother cracks open my window. A fresh, spring breeze tickles my face. “Honey”, she whispers soothingly, “I made breakfast, when you’re ready”. I can smell the thick aroma of homemade buttermilk pancakes, sizzling Canadian bacon, and of course, freshly squeezed orange juice.
Yeah right!
This is the American dream of absolutely every high school teen, but hardly a reality. I do not wake up to a bright, sunny day, the calming sounds of bluebirds, or an extravagantly prepared breakfast. Rather, like most teens, I wake up to the black, cold five am world, the near heart attack inducing alarms of my clock, and most disappointing of all, a bowl of gray, congealed oatmeal: a tasteless nightmare. For all you teenagers out there like me, unable to ‘appreciate’, as some may say, the unique qualities of oatmeal, it is time for a change.
So far, throughout my entire middle and high school years, mornings have found me late, lazy, and lacking edible food. And during these unwelcome hours, oatmeal has existed as a form of replacement nutrition that I am forced to settle for. Most people consume food for fulfillment and pleasure of taste, which oatmeal simply does not supply. Why, then, would anyone eat it? ‘It’s healthy’ many could answer. Yes, oats contain the power to reduce one’s cholesterol, the leading factor in heart attacks, up to twenty three percent by consuming only one bowl a day (top 10). I do not argue the health benefits of oatmeal. Like many others, I value a healthy diet; however, it doesn’t justify the other undesirable qualities of the substance. There is a reason why humans don’t normally eat tree bark or grass, even though it may be healthy. We prefer eating foods that contain a taste, preferably pleasant. In a world of crème brulee and filet mignon, how is it possible that people can settle for the bland raw taste of oatmeal: a cave man’s meal?
Bon Appetit doesn’t showcase foods that are of any single component; they are no pictures of a plain leg of lamb, or a stalk of broccoli. Rather, they add ingredient to compliment the overall taste of the creation. When concerning oatmeal, the magazine includes recipes for additives like, “Nectarine-Raspberry Crisp with Spiced-Oatmeal Crumb Topping” to supply those flavors that are so desperately needed (Nectarine-Raspberry). In this particular recipe there are over fifteen ingredients like sugar and cinnamon, all saying the word generous besides them, expressing the abundant need for the spices.
However, any supermarket shopper may argue that this flavoring process is unnecessary considering that there are pre packaged flavored oatmeal to choose from. “Crave a little variety now and then? That's why we offer Quaker Instant Oatmeal Flavor Variety Pack featuring Maple & Brown Sugar, Apples & Cinnamon and Cinnamon & Spice.” (Quaker). Though the package may say it offers a nice variety, how is one supposed to tell when every ‘flavor’ is as bland as the next? In order to retain its health benefits, companies like Quaker only lightly flavor the oatmeal with sugars and additives thus resulting in an almost equally plain substance. Has our standards been lowered so much that we not only eat a food that lacks any taste, but also has the consistency of wet chalk?
Heather Ackman like me, is an anosmic (a person who ‘tastes by texture’) wrote in her blog that the reason she doesn’t consume oatmeal is because, “it feels like puke!” (Why I hate..). Food is not meant to be both liquid and solid: oats and water. I enjoy water, and maybe the oats of oatmeal alone, but together, my palate can not contain it; it is a soggy mess. Like a cow with seven stomachs, I am forced to check and re chew much to my dismay the raw food. And as the gooey cement combination slowly congeals, getting thicker, harder and colder, my appetite shrinks. In the categories of soft, moist foods, I can handle things such as pudding, and apple sauce. Though, they do not appeal to my anosmic side, their tastes make up for their unalterable state. However, oatmeal appeals to neither my tongues textural predilections nor my taste buds.
Regardless of my finely crafted points supporting the argument that oatmeal is a grotesque, unorthodox, poor excuse for food, many will not be swayed from their current state of infatuation with it. Like my close friend Atika Gupta, they will say, “I think it tastes really good”. Who am I to argue with personal likes and dislikes? However what I do believe and will argue is this; our food industry should not cater to the likes of a faction of our population but rather work to please the whole of our world: those who like and dislike oatmeal. Add flavors, change textures; Quaker along with other oatmeal producing companies have the responsibility to please the general public, which means cater to more than one part of our population: oatmeal lovers.
America is a country with a history of fighting; fighting for our personal values. Americans have worked ruthlessly for what they have wanted by means of boycotting, protesting, and perhaps even using physical force. For all those people who wake up late, lack delicious food, and plan to settle for this pathetic excuse for food, I have one thing to say, “Don’t!”. Don’t be afraid to live out your dream: a dream of a more delicious world of food. Let this cycle of suffering stop with us. Starve rather than suffer the horrors of eating oatmeal: what many call a delicious and nutritious wonder, but I call cardboard hell.
Works Cited
"Nectarine-Raspberry Crisp with Spiced-Oatmeal Crumb Topping: Recipe : Bonappetit.com." Bon Appetit Magazine: Recipes, Menus, Cooking Videos, and Food Blogs. Web. 07 Apr. 2010. <http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2008/07/nectarine_raspberry_crisp>.
"Quaker Instant Oatmeal Variety Pack, 14.2-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 6): Amazon.com: Grocery & Gourmet Food." Amazon.com: Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs & More. Web. 07 Apr. 2010. <http://www.amazon.com/Quaker-Instant-Oatmeal-Variety-14-2-Ounce/dp/B001FA1LI4>.
"Top 10 Reasons To Eat Oatmeal - Mr Breakfast.com." Breakfast Recipes - Mr Breakfast .com - Breakfast Restaurants. Web. 07 Apr. 2010. <http://www.mrbreakfast.com/article.asp?articleid=27>.
"Why I Hate Oatmeal." NeverSmell.com. Web. 07 Apr. 2010. <http://www.neversmell.com/article/66/why-i-hate-oatmeal>.
